What Femme Daddy means for me – a breakdown from a femme daddy
*Note: This is what femme daddy means and is for me, but that definitely isn’t definitive or all inclusive as there are many ideas and and variations of what a femme daddy is…I am not defining a whole group, only highlighting and explaining my type.
My General Breakdown-
Femme Daddy ( FemmeDaddy) is a pen name and an identity I assume. I am not the only Femme Daddy nor the 1st to refer to myself as such, there are many of us now, as a google search recently showed me. FemmeDaddy, in my case, is a non-binary feminine looking cis woman in her 40’s… nurturing, protective, kinky, willful,… a teacher, a leader , a switch, typically the domme in our dynamic.
I realized I was a daddy almost two decades ago in my mid 20’s and have been slowly embracing it since. Once I heard someone refer to me as daddy it strummed a chord that continues to vibrate…
A little over a decade ago, I started going by the pen name femmedaddy b/c of my switch ways and bisexuality, also the two words femme & daddy are descriptive, to the point terms that give you an instant idea the contradictory & complimentary nature of my gender. When I 1st started using the term femme daddy as a username, most people who heard the term didn’t know what quite to make of it, just what was I trying to convey, what did this mean about me. In the simplest and most complex terms it means I am a femme daddy…that is I have ‘daddy’ characteristics/energy ( protect, discipline, patient, assertive ) with a feminine attributes ( curvy fit, paint my nails, wear high heels, have wonderful cleavage (: …and all that jazz.).
I take control, command respect, nurture curiosity and reward compliance. Some would call me a domme fem, I prefer Femme Daddy. There is a soft, playful, kind aspect to me that allows me to be rather switch and not solely a domme… yet I have some ways that are serious, stern, and aggressive that will never allow me to be a strict femme….so in-between I find myself and femmedaddy has suited me well throughout the years.
Femme is a physical-ness , often expressed by body physique/representation and clothing
Daddy is an energy, and is often expressed through demeanor, though not exclusively.
A more personal breakdown-
I am what they call a Switch. I tend to be more Dominant, but not in a demeaning or degrading way, humiliation is not my turn on. Also when I say dominant I don’t only mean in regards to assertiveness but also to control and all that falls in-between…I am usually the leader but not always. I have no problem with being “bottom/submissive”, in fact I rather enjoy that with the right kind of personality that makes me want to please and take care with them…regardless of what our chemistry would bring out in me there would always be a lil bit of a daddy (teacher/disciplinarian/protector) aspect in our dynamic.
- I’m bisexual. I do believe in monogamy if the right chemistry exists with your chosen person , bisexuality does not = polyamory or polygamy , simply means I am attracted in several ways to both men and women, cis or not. I tend to be most attracted to people who can express their sexual-ness through sight and perhaps words. I’m artsy somewhat so I am naturally inclined towards expression though textures, light, colors, angles, etc. Creativity is a big turn on. I also am a bit of a kinky sapiosexual woman so raw lust and heat delivered through sexy moans, growls, tones, words, stories, sexy dancing, sexy parading, seductive images or straight up to the point hot fucking (yourself or another) will lure me and cause me to consider possibilities
- On the spectrum of femme/butch I am more femme than butch, both looking and personality, yet I pride myself on my masculine traits. I can kill bugs on my own, hail a cab or uber, rebuild a motorcycle, drive stick shift, play with drums, know how to tie a tie, assert myself, fix minor and not so minor household apparatuses. I think I am funny. I have been told I am handy. On another side I am a very good cook, I have a green thumb, love to express myself through dance, appreciate fashion, love to go on nature walks, I don’t hunt or fish for sport or pleasure, have a growing collection of high heels, I know how to heal a burn, I love the texture of silk, I enjoy scented baths with candles. I am sentimental. I have been told my hair smells delicious.
- I usually appear feminine in appearance with longer curly hair, the curves of my definitions, painted nails, cleavage and high heels… but sometimes you’ll find me in loose fitting jeans/pants/overalls with paint all over them, athletic tank top, Adidas pants, hair pulled back or braided to the side, flat sandals …depending on who is looking at me they may notice the way I tilt my head sideways, that I open doors, walk on the outside vs inside, the tone in my voice, my directness …I have masculine traits that mix and blend well with my feminine features.
- Sexually I am a sensual dominant and I find this pairs well with me being a femme daddy. I am currently on that path actualizing the domme in me. I am still in the beginnings of this…and for now the best way to capture it is sensual domme. I do not enjoy inflicting physical pain, scat, humiliation or a slave situation. This I know. I do enjoy obedience, submission to my ways, loyalty, take care of you when you’re too tipsy rather than take advantage, erotic kinky role play, light rope play, light flogging/spanking, strap ons, food play, grinding, edging, controlling your climax and things of the like…. nothing inflicting pain or humiliation. For a long time I assumed that since I wasn’t into pain I couldn’t be a domme, even though many other ways I’ve mine pointed to me being under that label. I have since learned that there are many varieties of a dominant and submissive type personality, and sensual dominants do exist.
I am this way with both women and men and while I don’t require for anyone to call me daddy and play with my silicone, I have had had both genders and sexes do so and I enjoyed that very much…something I find very arousing about the willingness of someone wanting to please me so I’ll please them.. a beautiful give and get. Sometimes I am much more softer( kinder & more submissive) acting and others more serious ( stern, assertive &dominant), that all depends on our chemistry and what I sense you want, or what you explicitly tell me you want. - Very briefly, a lil NSFW tidbit for those that made it this far, in regards to role play and games, this femme daddy has a simple fantasy about having a sexual tryst with someone in their 50’s and their 19 year old son/daughter over hears us fucking and them calling me daddy one night and since then they cannot get the word daddy, me or my cock out of their mind till they seductively seduce me or allow me to seduce them and we start a sensually taboo affair.
In closing, femme daddies come in many varieties from femme, butch, cis/non cis women/men, smaller or bigger, some are tops only, some are bottoms… this femme daddy right hurr is a cis woman who is an adaptable switch. She is also a curvy fairly fit multi-racial woman in her 40’s, in a strange playful mood (hence this essay ) due to covid times, who occasionally likes to play with ropes & paddles and wear silicone cocks, leather collars, and ties…. corsets, 3 inch heels, and eyeliner that doesn’t smudge.
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